December 2, 2009
Political Struggle | No gay marriage for New York

We generally don’t comment on political struggles, but this one is just a little to awful for us to ignore. Today, the New York state legislature/cabal of fools voted down a gay marriage bill.

And we’re kind of angry. Not everyone at The Daily Struggle is gay, but we are all human beings. And as human beings, we recognize the need to legitimize the love all human beings have for one another, regardless of their sex.

The Republicans and select dumb-ass Democrats of the New York Statehouse? Strugglin like it’s their job. And apparently, that’s exactly what their job is.

4:32pm
November 24, 2009
Strugglin: “You’re a millionaire!” e-mails

We here at The Daily Struggle always appreciate a little money - especially when we don’t have to do much for it. We’re all suckers for checks from grandma and large settlements from the “tainted” meat we ate for lunch last week.

But one thing we are not is stupid. And it insults our collective intelligence to receive messages like this one that recently came to our inbox:

“UNITED NATIONSCOMPENSATION UNIT,
IN AFFILIATION WITH WORLD BANK.
Permanent Mission of Thailand to the United Nations
351 East 52nd Street, New York, NY 10022

Our Ref: UN/TH/069011

Date: 12/11/2009

RE: COMPENSATION OF US$1,000.000.00

How are you today? Hope all is well with you and family? You may not understand why this mail came to you. We have been having a meeting for the passed 3 months which ended yesterday with the secretary to the UNITED NATION. This email is to all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$1,000.000.00 (One Million United State Dollars Only) each and you have to indicate how much you lost in the hand of scammers.

This includes every foreign contractor; Inheritance and Lottery payment that have not received their Lottery/Inheritance payment, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or international Lottery payment that failed due to Government problems etc. We found your name in our list and that is why we are contacting you, this has been agreed upon and has been signed.

You are advised to contact  Mr. James Phillips for the delivery of your ATM CARD through our paying center in Asia as he is our representative in Thailand, contact him immediately for your ATM CARD PAYMENT of US$1,000.000.00. This fund is in ATM CARD PAYMENT SYSTEM for security purpose, so he will send it to you and you can withdraw the fund in any bank of your choice.

Therefore, you should send him your full Name and telephone number your correct mailing address where you want him to send the ATM CARD to you. Contact Mr. James Phillips immediately for the Delivery of your ATM CARD to your home address:

Person to Contact: Mr. James Phillips
Email: mrjamesphillipss@yahoo.com.hk
Tel: (66)823221492

Hoping to hear from you as soon as you receive your compensation funds.

United Nations, Making the world a better place.

Regards,


Ban Ki-Moon
Secretary-General”

Um, Ban Ki-Moon? Really? The man is so busy strugglin trying to keep the world together that there’s no way he had the time to send us an e-mail personally. No friggin’ way.

So, whoever sent this message? Your strugglin is officially an international hostage situation.

10:37pm
November 24, 2009
Grace Coddington. Officially NOT strugglin. Never was, never will be.

Grace Coddington. Officially NOT strugglin. Never was, never will be.

10:27pm
(Notes: 1)
  
October 13, 2009

“Thirty, 45 seconds and I was covered in sweat.”

Yeah, we’ll bet you were.

Introducing the Shake Weight for Men, the only exercise instrument inspired by, like, ridiculously gay porn or something.

We should say that it comes with a no risk, triple money-back guarantee. So that’s something.

But still. The Shake Weight for Men? Strugglin’ hard core!

1:02am
October 12, 2009
Who’s Strugglin’?

We are. We’ve been so consumed with tests, stupid people and other pet projects that we haven’t had time to look around the Internets for examples of people screwing up.

The Daily Struggle? Strugglin’ with a capital C.

Wait, what?

Strugs.

1:34pm
October 6, 2009

We’re all for celebrity endorsements, but it’s pretty clear to us that Mizz Brook Shields does not believe in Latisse, a lash-lengthening wonder potion that’s supposed to make the hair around your eyes luscious and wonderful looking.

Honestly, though. Listen to the (lack of) ringing conviction in her voice. Maybe they’re just not paying her enough for the plug?

Latisse? Might as well be called S. T. Rugglin’s amazing eyelid serum. Or something. Strug.

4:04pm
October 1, 2009

Ooh. Rough. We like it when people call other people out for having preconceived notions about racial groups to which they don’t belong. It’s a good thing.

But why the fuck is there a SeaDoo involved?

You get an A for effort, DinoBrite productions. Otherwise? Strug.

4:00pm
October 1, 2009

With the exception of the High Holy Days and trips to Wal Mart, we here at The Daily Struggle do not support the use of hard drugs. The video above is just one of the many reasons why we have that policy in place.

You know what we’re going to say next. If you don’t, well, you’re strugglin’.

2:09am
September 30, 2009
Let’s Get Amanda Some Help

Really. I know we kinda burned Amanda in the last post, but we have to ask the question:

Do you know of anything big and famous that sticks to something else that’s big and famous?

4:31pm
(Notes: 3)
  
September 30, 2009
"Do you know of anything big and famous that sticks to something else that’s big and famous?"

— Amanda Croy, who is doing some kind of advertising or other for super glue. Or something. Strugglin’.

12:13am